So…yesterday was a fail…fail…fail…fail…fail…and fail sort of day as far as giving up approval of others and focusing on doing what’s right. I’ll explain in a minute.
It was also a win in that I noticed six distinct times when I paused and didn’t do the most obvious “right” thing because of what I thought someone might think of me.
The six are:
- I learned of something online that was potentially harmful and said “someone should do something” but did nothing myself. I didn’t want to offend or accuse.
- At Bible study when one of the attendees became ill. I took a wait and see attitude instead of jumping in and becoming involved. I opted for observation rather than engagement…watchfulness rather than involvement.
- Saw a man fresh from Ash Wednesday service, a slightly smudged cross prominent on his forehead. I stared but didn’t speak. I wanted to but wasn’t sure how he would react.
- A woman at Kroger had left her open purse in the shopping cart seat and walked 20 feet from it and turned her back for an extended period of time. I didn’t share with her the dangers of doing so.
- At McD’s a mother of two school-aged children sat at a tall table eating and chatting with the kids. Her shoulder purse was hung on the back of her seat. The strap was long and hung to within a foot of the floor – well out of sight of anyone seated at the table. I didn’t mention to the mom that her purse was open and her wallet plainly visible, or how easy it would be for someone to….
- At Walmart I raged against the price of light bulbs. I didn’t want people to think I was caving in without a fight – from 1.62 for a four pack of bulbs to 6.00…seriously? (It was after the fact that I worried about what others thought and gave little consideration to what God thought of my rant and rage.)
- Yes, I know…I only mentioned 6 and this one stands apart from the others. My private confusion concerning another who didn’t act during the medical emergency but could have and some felt should have. Judging another is not my place – not right and not my right. I don’t know their heart or intent, nor do I know their situation or what God’s Spirit may be speaking to their heart.
Today is day two of Lent.
I can’t do over yesterday, but I can learn from it. This is a journey and I’ve only begun. Two steps into it, I see what I wouldn’t have seen three days ago. And, what I see indicates a great need for much change within me. I am not able to make this change – God alone can do so. As I lean into faith in Jesus, learn of Him and follow His way, God’s Spirit will change me from the inside out.
I believe that. I’m trusting God for that.
Lent – day two.
Here we go…a new opportunity – every minute – to live apart from and outside of the approval of others. Eyes on doing the right thing…that which is pleasing to God, will honor Jesus and be in keeping with the leading of God’s Spirit.
God help me.
I need it!