Beyond My Control

Daughter mentioned she felt tired (had for two days) and thought it best she go to bed early.  5 a.m. would come too soon as it was and she wanted to be rested for work.  She also mentioned that two of her coworkers had been ill the first of this week (continued to work with fever/symptoms) and that one had said her husband’s fever climbed to 106, and had taken him to the ER.

Daughter hoped she was not coming down with the same thing they’d had.  I hoped not, too.

She had not been in bed very long when she called my name.

Chills were wracking her body and chattering teeth made it difficult for her to speak.

She was sick.  Fever was climbing and as it did so her body shook…hard.  And her teeth chattered so hard she repeatedly bit her tongue as she tried to speak…and broke a tooth.

Her only symptoms were fever, chills, muscle aches and headache. All attributed to the rapid rise in her body temperature.

Tylenol halted the climb and it stopped just shy of 102.  She slept.  And, after disinfecting where she had been and what she had touched since she’d arrived home from work, I went to bed, too, praying that she would soon be well and that Hubby and I would not come down with it.

This morning I woke about the time she usually heads to work.  She was in bed, had notified work that she would not be in, and said her fever had bottomed out to almost normal in the night but was on its way back up.

Symptoms this morning are: fever just under 100, headache, swollen.tender neck glands, tight chest, stiff neck and back.

I’ve no idea what she has or how long its duration will be.  And, I don’t know how contagious it is.

My responsibilities extend beyond myself and I can’t risk carrying this to Mom. And, if I get sick….

This is beyond my control.  I can wash my hands and Lysol everything possible.  I can isolate her to her room and her dogs with her, and bleach every utensil she eats from.  But, that’s about all I can do to prevent the spread of this thing.

Most likely she had been contagious for two days prior to developing the fever.  She first came in contact with it (at best guess) on Sunday or Monday.  She was off on Tuesday and here/at Mom’s…. On Thursday she developed fatigue and on Friday evening, fever. That’s about a 3 day incubation period.

Could be anything.

When her hands went white and tingled as her fever climbed, I thought of meningitis.  And, again, this morning when she mentioned headache and stiff neck…meningitis.

She’s sitting up in bed, eating breakfast and sipping coffee.  And, as she does so, she’s watching World War Z.

The day that I’d planned…the weekend I’d stretched before me changed abruptly last evening.  And, the next few days and the week ahead may change as well.

Everything is beyond my control.

All I can do is what I am able in this moment as things are right now.  And, truly, isn’t that how it is anyway?

I’ve no power to control – certainly not the future.  Everything is truly beyond my control.

While I can influence, I cannot control.

And, being out of control is scary.

Daughter just made a comment on the zombie movie she’s watching…”it’s kinda freaky.”

Yeah, it is “kinda freaky” when you realize you don’t know what you’re dealing with and have no clue what to do about it.  And, you don’t know whether it will invade and infect you or others you care about – and if it does what will happen.

It’s all beyond my control.

But, it’s not beyond the control of my Creator, Comforter, Savior, Sovereign God, The Great Physician…Jesus.

Knowing that He is in control calms my fears and gives me peace of mind to move forward with what I do know and work within the framework that I have available on a moment by moment basis.

Guess what…it’s beyond your control, too.


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