Desist and Know

Today dawned dark.  Thick clouds obscured the sun.

At 8 a.m., darkness grew greater as a storm rode in.  Rumbling, grumbling thunder announced its approach and darker still it grew until it became so dark that I could barely see into my back yard.

It was no better in the house. With lights off, the darkness within bespoke the darkness without.

Nothing stirred, within or without.  Not a breath of breeze.

Quiet.  All still in the gathering darkness.

And, then it hit.  A torrent of rain, pounding the roof and blinding what sight I did have into the world beyond my window, blurred my vision as it cascaded down the window pane.

Flashes of lightning lit the clouds.  Flickering menaces of electrical madness back lit clouds in colors pink, green, blue and yellow.

Thunder boomed and crashed about me as wind whipped the tree tops in a furry that threatened to strip them of leaves.

Flicker, flicker, flicker, FLASH, rumble, grumble, flash, flicker, flicker, FLASH/BOOM, rumble, rumble, GRUMBLE.

The constant patter of raindrops on the window and the rushing sound of heavy rain lulled my senses and calmed me.

Thunder punctuated my thoughts as I opened myself to the storm and the wonders of it.  The beauty of the storm amazed me.

And, then it was gone.  Silence fell hard upon my ears in the quietness after the storm.

I stepped to the door and peeked out.  The fresh scent of rain filled me and I inhaled deeply, enjoying the sweet smell of wet earth.

Not a leaf stirred, so still it was after the storm.

For several minutes I stood in the silence.

And, then I heard the sound of rain coming across the roof tops to the west of me.  Gentle at first, then becoming harder…louder…until it filled me with the roar of falling water.

Thunder grumbled once again and I sighed.

Ahhh.

The tension I’d felt earlier had left me with a stillness…calmness….

I felt relaxed, at ease…peaceful.

Another deep, cleansing breath – then a yawn that further loosed my jumbled nerves and relaxed the tenseness remaining.

Be still and know….

As I sit and type this, rain still patters down, the sky remains dark…so dark that colors are muted shades of brown and gray.  Thunder still grumbles occasionally.  And, I am left amazed by the power given the storm to change so much.

And, as I typed “so much” the rain stopped as though shut off at the faucet. Birds began to sing as I was typing the previous sentence – and are now the only sounds I hear.

Be still and know that I am….

If I were a bird I would be joining in the chorus.  My voice would blend with the Chickadee, Wren, Goldfinch, Cardinal, Sparrow, Grackle…would rise in praise and thanksgiving.

Storms give live and bring renewal.

My spirit was withered and dry, stretched taunt by stress, anxious and tense, knotted and hard.

Be still and know that I am God.

Desist and know God.

Stop the mad struggle. Relax the tension. Lose yourself. Find God.

Awareness of God begins where self awareness ends.

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