I Write

I write so I won’t forget…

…the way the fallen leaves chased after the car that whipped through them as they lay thick on the lane…

…the road covered with orange, yellow, red maple leaves – newly fallen – unbruised, not crushed or creased, unblemished – like golden snow covering the road and raining down with the gentlest breeze…

…the garden in its last blush of bloom – the okra 15 ft tall with new buds and opening blooms atop it – and a freeze warning issued…

…the farewell glance I gave the garden after picking all I could from it before the hard freeze claimed it…

…the last green tomato found hiding beneath a tomato leaf, plucked and tucked safely into my pocket…

…the orange maple leaves on the three trees across the street cascading from said trees in waves of orange, covering the ground, hedge, street beyond…

…my refusal to put away my shorts and don sweat pants even though the wind was cold and whipped my legs until numb…

…the rush to rescue potted plants summered outdoors from the coming frigid blast and the frustrated flurry to find space for them in the crowded garage…

…heat from the “grow” light in the garage warming my face as I removed cold, damp clothes from the washer…

…knowledge that Summer is past and Autumn means business…

…that all work and no play makes Suzan a dull girl…

…Zinnias in their faded glory looked tired and ragged as the wind whipped them and temp fell – with scissors in one hand and a vase in the other I kissed Summer goodbye and brought in what I could of it before the freeze blackens the reds, pinks, purples….

…the snipped tops of okra stalks in a vase before me – hibiscus type flowers, yellow, pink and red threaten to open – I know they will wilt…

…I try to delay winter’s arrival every way I can think of….

…free weather gives way to cold weather and the thermostat is pushed from cool to heat and the furnace cuts on briefly and raises the temp from 64 to 65 for the first time since April…

…thoughts turn to the homeless man we saw at BK – I pray he found a warm place for the night…

…my gears are changing…from warm weather minded to cold…outside in shorts, breathing deeply of the cold windy air, embracing the drizzle that chilled me, refusing to hang onto what I cannot keep and willing to embrace what is now…

…cannot hold in my hand Summer’s beauty and wonder, but I can in my words and memory retain as much through writing as I can allow myself time and indulge myself the pleasure of…

…that October is beyond my reach and November, now here, has begun the countdown to year end activities…birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve…

…the ease of warm weather and less clothing is no longer an option – sweaters, sleeves, jackets and coats, gloves, scarves, and hats become the norm and a necessity…

…that on one trip to BK for a quick dinner we were approached by two (at BK) who said they were homeless and hungry…

…the crisp pinch of surprise 29 degrees and 35 mph wind gives to bare skin….

…that cold zoo mornings offer fantastic walking opportunities with few obstacles and only occasional reasons to slow for animal (or people) watching…

…that I am not a fan of change or of discomfort but I trust I am woman enough to embrace it and move forward through it with joyful expectation and hope…

…I am a survivor and though I may not embrace the idea of change, I do adjust quickly to it and move forward within it…

…that this who I am and how I clear my head and unload thoughts and memories to make room for more…

…who I am and why I am – where I’m going and my journey to get there….

This is why I write, you see.  It’s not for you.  It’s for me.

 

Advertisements

Dr. Seuss Wisdom

While talking with a friend, the topic of blogging and the need to be true to who you are came up.

It was mentioned that putting ourselves out there, through blogging or posting comments and thoughts on Facebook, can be quite scary because of the comments others make…some can even be quite hurtful.

The desire to be real – to remove the masks that we wear and let our true selves show – is overwhelming at times.

Everyone I know wants to be liked and appreciated for who they are, not for who others think they are.

It’s hard to be vulnerable when we’re afraid of being hurt or rejected just for being ourselves and for sharing where we are in life and what we think about it.

Here’s a bit of Dr. Seuss wisdom for all my blogger/Facebook friends out there.

A person’s a person, no matter how small.

Little, small minded people can make big comments.  Give them the grace to be themselves and remember…a person’s a person no matter how small.

We all deserve respect and want to be taken seriously.  And, while we do need to respect everyone (a person’s a person) we don’t have to take everyone seriously or their comments to heart.

You know who you are.  And, God does, too. Forget what others think and say. Lean into and live fully into who you were created to be.

And, when comments come (and they will) just remember…a person’s a person, no matter how small.

😉

Two Year Anniversary

When I signed into Suzansays, I was surprised to find that WordPress had sent a little note congratulating me for celebrating my 2 year anniversary.

Two years ago today (Christmas day 2013)…I suppose it has been two years since Suzansays was created.  It’s been almost a year since I began this daily blogging run….

So, yes…I suppose it was 2 years ago on Christmas evening that I stretched myself a bit and went public with my thoughts.

Scary thing, this going public with my thoughts – for me and probably for my readers too! 😉

To my readers: thank you for the gift of your presence and patience. Thank you for believing in me…for being oh so kind in your comments.

The weeks and days leading up to Christmas have been frustrating and angst filled.  However, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were blessings far beyond what I’d hoped or dreamed.  God wove a thing of beauty and I am in awe of God’s goodness and grace.

My hope is to write a bit, in the coming days, of things learned and experienced and of the ways I’ve grown…and perhaps grown up.

When this posts, Christmas will be past and we will be moving quickly toward the year’s end. I wish to bask in the glow of this Christmas now past but life moves me forward into what’s next.

Perhaps, through writing I will be able to capture (for myself and for you) the wonder of this Christmas.

Stay tuned!

Spam

Every week or so I dump my spam folder.  But, before I do…I take a look at the list – just to make sure something important (like an email from you) wasn’t relegated to junk and listed as spam.

Sometimes I find interesting things.

Like…

  • Free access to local sluts. (And, why exactly would I want this?  I try hard to avoid such.)
  • A top secret message from Mr. Paul Kojo. (Um…my spam folder is a good way to keep it secret.)
  • 1 secret linguistic secret to learn a foreign language in 10 days revealed. (no es bueno)
  • Your DNA can be stored for eternity. (And, why would I want this?? Live forever? Yes, but not in this DNA flawed body!)
  • Tim Russert’s sex scandal exposed at funeral. (I’m not even going there.)
  • Brands you want, payments you like. (I really prefer FREE.)
  • Learning that fits your schedule. (Fits MY schedule?  I seriously doubt it. Wait…what’s a schedule?)
  • Always wanted to learn Chinese? We can help. (Tai Hao Le!)
  • Stock up on Kotex and get a $5 gift card. (Buy a cup and never need to stock up again.)
  • Find your true love at ChristianMingle. (When did Hubby join ChristianMingle??)
  • You are one of the select few chosen to try the electronic cigarette. (Lucky me.)
  • Get 50k protection for a Dollar. (You get what you pay for.)
  • Plan a Winter beach escape. (Now this one, I like.)
  • Get found online. (What does that mean, exactly? And, why would I want to?)
  • New workers needed for data entry job. (Wow!  That sounds like an exciting position…NOT!)
  • Of course, there are others that promise big things and fun times, lottery winnings, travel opportunities, and reconnection with lost friends.
  • Lost friends…who exactly ARE “lost” friends…are they still friends if you’ve lost them?

The next time you’re bored or lack motivation for writing – think spam and open the folder. (Be advised – don’t click on the emails and read them. Virus’ hide in many links that they give you.)

326 On Day 324, 2013

Today is my 326th post here on Suzansays.  I’ll admit, I was surprised when WordPress shared that bit of information with me.

If you search back over my 2013 posts you won’t find one for every day of this year. Suzansays came into being before this year began. Posts were few and far between until mid January when I challenged myself to write a post every day this year.

Things rocked along well until Mom was hospitalized for a week in May.  I’d not given forethought to having a few posts squirreled away in the event of such and so my daily posting took a temporary break.

I’ll admit – creating something every day and putting it out there for you to read has, at times, been difficult.  Sometimes I just didn’t want to write and there were times when I couldn’t think of anything thing to say.

With only 41 days remaining in this year, I have hope of completing my goal of writing my way through 2013.

On this 324th day of 2013, let me encourage you to consider creating a blog of your own.  WordPress offers all you need right here.

If you decide to unleash your wild creative side via blogging, be sure to let me know so I can follow you.

To my readers – thank you for following, thank you for reading, thank you for being kind with your comments.

Edit Yourself

Hmm, the quick post I had planned on writing this morning has grown into a lengthy, thought involved piece that I find unable to effectively edit for public consumption.

I’ll set it aside for a day or two.  Perhaps then I will be able to pare it down and remove the parts that you will skip over anyway as you quickly scan through it. 🙂

Perhaps that’s why I prefer the written word over the spoken. With the written word before me I can edit what I’m saying – or, if reading what someone else has written, I can scan quickly and pick out the important things – that which applies to me, or to the matter at hand – deal with it and then move on.

Verbal conversation tends to…ramble.  My mind wanders and I find myself wishing the point was fixed and visible.

I forget that sometimes it’s the telling that’s as important as what’s said.  At least to the person doing the telling.

It’s really hard to edit ourselves and what we say. Every thought we think is important to us and we want to share ourselves and our thoughts with others.

Sure we do.

And, we want to be heard and understood.

And, accepted…we all want to be accepted.

Oh, yes, and we want to feel that we are important enough for the other person to stop what they are doing and hear what we have to say…even if it’s just…stuff…rambling stuff.

Saying things – whether through written, spoken, or signed word – is how we communicate.  And, communication is important.

Sure it is.  Just think back to the last time when you wanted to talk and no one wanted to take the time to listen.  Or, what you said was just blown off….  Or, you were interrupted….  Or, you were told, “hurry up and get to the point, I’m busy.”

Sometimes we need to edit ourselves because we do tend to yammer on about things that really don’t interest others.

Sometimes we need to edit ourselves because we do tend to interrupt the yammering of others and break the connection the other is attempting to make.

Sometimes we need to edit our time and activities so we are more available and more inclined to take the time to listen, to connect, to converse.

It’s the connection we all want…the affirmation that, yes, we are important…we matter.

Edit yourself today.

  • If you tend to ramble, reign it in a little and get to the point a little faster – you might find others are more eager to listen if you do.
  • If you tend to interrupt, take a deep breath instead.  Sure, your time is important, but so is the person who thought you important enough to share thoughts and self with you.
  • Take a good look at what you say and why you say it.  Does it benefit, or is it just random noise intended to fill quiet space?
  • Learn how to direct a conversation and help those a bit long winded in the telling to focus on what’s important by asking questions and being involved in what they are sharing. You might find that it’s not the conversation that’s desire, but rather the connection.

** To those of you (and you know who you are) that I’ve not taken the time to listen to…I’m so sorry.  If I gave you the impression that what I was doing was more important than you, please forgive me.  You ARE important to me and of tremendous worth.  I value you. I love you and I want that connection with you!

Issue Taken – Point Being

A friend took issue with something I wrote here, in my Suzansays blog.

At first, I was shocked.  Yes, I was.

Then, I felt a little hurt…just a little.

THEN, I was excited and said, “You read my blog?”

“Yes!” said she.

“WOW! How awesome is that?!?” I replied.

She, however, did not see how her concern over my written words should evoke such joy in me.

I just laughed.  Not at her, of course. I love her dearly and would never wish to hurt her.

But, you see…I’m a writer.  Writers write.

I’m also a blogger.  Bloggers write to be read.

She read my blog.

Yes, she did!  That’s exciting to me.

I don’t write to be agreed with.  I write to write.  And, I blog to be read.

The post that she had issue with was a success simply because she took the time to read it.

That’s the whole point of writing a blog!

And, you know what’s equally exciting?  She told some of her friends things I’d said.

Yes!  She did!

And, yes!! they read my blog, too!

Take issue with what I write – that won’t bother me one bit.  I’ll know you read it and that will make me happy beyond words.  If you take issue with something I write, I’ve made you think and caused you to get off the fence and choose a side, make a decision, take a stand.

That’s a win / win the way I see it.

Housework App

Upon posting yesterday’s blog piece, WordPress popped up a little thingie to the left side of the page that congratulated me for posting my 144th and provided a little thought for my blogging journey.

The desire to write grows with writing. Desiderius Erasmus

Ah, if only the desire to clean house grew with cleaning!

Truly, I could sit and write all day, accomplishing nothing more than that of putting words on paper (or in virtual format) and recording thoughts, views, information….

The more I write, the more I want to write.  It’s as if my brain needs to download (or is it upload?) all this stuff within it so I can get on with life. Writing is for my brain what defragging and deleting cookies is for my computer.

Perhaps I should think of housework in the same light – defragging and deleting cookies in the house.

Hmmm…. When I look at housework in that light, I see a lot of fragmented, unused, out dated, out of place items. Yes, my house needs to be defragged. Wish there was an app for that.

And, are those cookie crumbs I see?  Oh, my…looks like I need to delete cookies, too!

Time to go offline, boot up the program titled “housework,” pull out the trash can, dust cloth, broom and vacuum…and upload, download or just plain offload some of this mess into the garbage can outside.

Writer’s Block

For the past hour, I have done everything I can think of to force my brain to come up with something to write about this morning.

I’ve searched online – looking for news, weird things, odd happenings, ideas – to see if something would trigger my brain and prompt me to begin typing.

But, my hour long search has yielded me little more than information, some of which I could have done without.

  • a man was swallowed by a hippo and lived to tell about it.
  • there were twin UFO encounters over 1000 miles and 2 hours apart
  • a woman was accidentally shot, by her husband, in the mouth with a harpoon
  • this is National C……. Week (sorry, have to keep this G rated)
  • what really happens in women’s restrooms
  • there is a World P…. Size Map (again – sorry, have to keep this G rated)
  • bigfoot sightings are up
  • woman slapped a deputy to go to jail and quit smoking
  • smokejumpers intending to land in hot spot land in illegal pot garden
  • scratch and sniff card prompts natural gas leak scare
  • Houston braces for giant snail invasion
  • man uses spoon to break out of maximum security prison in Russia

Disappointed I didn’t provide links?  Ha ha! Believe me, none of the above will enhance your reading skills, enlighten you, provide information you need, or entertain you.

Writer’s Block is a dreaded (dare I say “hated”?) malady that befalls all writers from time to time. There’s nothing like sitting with fingers on keys and finding nothing within that wishes to flow outward through fingers.  The page on the screen is as blank and wordless as my brain.

The Guide to Grammar and Writing says it well.

For many writers the worst part of the writing experience is the very beginning, when they’re sitting at the kitchen table staring at a blank sheet of paper or in front of that unblinking and perfectly empty computer monitor: “I have nothing to say,” is the only thing that comes to mind. (read more)

I am not articulate in expressing my thoughts well through spoken word.  My brain speaks through my fingertips – writing words I have no idea how to pronounce, giving voice to thoughts and emotions that swirl in my head but cannot exit my mouth in intelligible language.

Writer’s block, for me, is akin to what a loquacious individual feels when struck dumb by laryngitis.

Staring blankly at the computer screen rarely cures a case of writer’s block.  If you are struggling to find the words, check out 13 Famous Writers on Overcoming Writer’s Block and Top 10 Tips for Overcoming Writer’s Block.

Or, you can google “odd news.”   😉