Choosing a Name

Who would have thought selecting a name for your first grandchild to call you would be difficult?

When I imagine stretching out my arms to a granddaughter and saying, “Come to _______” I go blank.

For years I said “Big Momma” would be my designation.  But, when we learned Son would become a Dad, Daughter nixed the “Big Momma” idea.

It would appear that being a Southern grandmother is not enough reason to be “Big Momma.” Apparently, for some people, grandmother names have cultural connotations.

If I’ll not be “Big Momma,” who will I be?

Hubby had mentioned the possibility of G-M for me and G-P for him.  After repeating them several times we realized I would become “Jim” and he would become “Jeep.”  Funny.  But, I don’t see myself as a “Jim” and he’s certainly not a “Jeep.”

Daughter-in-love shared grandmother names that are taken: GrandMom, Grammy, Nana and Memaw. That helps, but it also complicates things, at least for me.  When I was a child my grandmothers were Nanny and MeMaw – distinct sounding names without the possibility of confusion.

I considered using either “Me, Mom” (the signature I use when writing my son).

But, MeMom is too close to MeMaw – and Grammy rules out Granny, Granma and others similar.  My children had a GrandMom and GrandMa – and when young would confuse the two names.

Unique is not my goal, but it could help my grandchild differentiate between the individuals who love her/him and are involved in his/her life.

Who would have thought this would be so difficult?

A search online for “grandmother names” led me to the Ultimate Guide to Grandparent Names which offered traditional, trendy, playful and international grandmother names.

Among those on the trendy list were:

Ama
Babo
Coco
Dally
Fo-Ma, Faux Ma
GeezerGirl
Hamma
Kitty
LaLa
Mammi
Nimo
OtherMother
Pebbles
Sugar
TeeMa
Uma, Umma
Vanna
Womba
YaYoo

Um…no.  I don’t see myself in that list.  Apparently I’m not “trendy.”

The playful list is even wilder.

Abba
Bubbles
Cha-cha
Doodie, Dooty
Gitchey
Hugme
Jamagramma
Khakie, Kakie
LoveyDovey
Muddy
NuNu
Pittypat
QueenB/Queen Bee
Sunny
Tinkerbell
Upsy
Wicky

Hmmm…I’m not so much “sugar and spice and everything nice.”  I have a little “snips and snails and puppy dog tails” thrown in for good measure.

And, that’s “Big Momma” for certain.

Perhaps a twist on the traditional “Grandmother” will yield a satisfactory nickname and one that expresses my traditional self, trendy self, and playful self.

I’d much rather make mud pies than apple. And, though I know it’s been said that cleanliness is next to godliness, I tend to lean toward getting close enough to God’s good earth to get some on me.

I think I will be…Granmudder – Muddee, if I decide to shorten it.

Now, all Granmudder and PaPa have to do is wait.  And, that’s harder than selecting a name for Granddaughter to call me. 😉

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Can’t Never Did Nothing For You

Conversation overheard between Grandfather and Granddaughter.

He: “Try.”

She: “I can’t.”

He: “What do you mean you can’t. You haven’t tried.”

She: “I can’t. I know I can’t.”

He: “You think you can’t but you don’t know until you try.”

She: “I can’t! I can’t do that!”

He: “You don’t know until you try!”

She: “I can’t. I CAN’T! I can’t do it! I know I can’t!”

He: “It’s not that you ‘can’t’, it’s that you ‘won’t.’ You won’t even try.”

She: “I can’t!”

He: “Why can’t you?”

She: “Because! Because…I can’t!”

He: “‘Can’t’ never did nothing for you!”

My daughter went through a stage where “I can’t” was her mantra that she repeated to everyone who asked anything of her, especially if it required her to do something she didn’t want to, or wasn’t interested in, or felt it would require something of her (such as moving out of her comfort zone).

“I can’t” became an excuse and lead to a way of life.

It’s the same with me.  And, my guess is it’s the same with you, too

Saying “I can’t” is often easier than rolling up our sleeves and getting busy.  It’s safer than taking the risk, easier than taking action, requires less than accepting the challenge.

But, “I can’t” does nothing for us.

“I can’t” doesn’t propel us forward.

“I can’t” doesn’t produce growth in us.

“I can’t” doesn’t provide for our needs.

“I can’t” doesn’t promote well-being.

“I can’t” closes the door on opportunity and says “no” to making an attempt.

“I can’t” does nothing for us and it speaks of immaturity, lack of faith, failure to embrace change, misunderstanding of our potential and ability, and a general disconnect with life and relationships.

We say “I can’t” when what we should say is “I prefer not.”

The next time an opportunity comes along that threatens to stretch you in ways you’ve not stretched before, be honest with yourself.  Don’t say “I can’t.”  Say, “I don’t want to” instead.

And, then ask yourself why you don’t want to.  If it’s fear – face it.  If it’s lack of understanding, understand it.  If it’s due to something you need or lack, ask for assistance.

“I can’t” often becomes “I did” when we open the door of possibilities and push ourselves beyond our perceived limits.

What are your perceived limits?

You don’t know until you try.